


Coming Into His Own

by twinsarein



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Coda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-23
Updated: 2010-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-09 16:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinsarein/pseuds/twinsarein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark makes some decisions that show he’s starting to grow up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Into His Own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rednihilist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rednihilist/gifts).



Clark looks at Lex in admiration. He never thought his father would agree to accept help from Lex, even if it meant losing their farm. One day, Clark expects that he’ll stop underestimating his friend and what he can accomplish. He hopes this means that his father is beginning to trust the man. It would be so nice to not have to fight his father at every turn for this particular friendship.

Especially since he is feeling closer to Lex than ever. That hug they’d shared out in the yard a few days ago had felt like a turning point to him; a turning point towards what he isn’t sure.   He just knows that it felt really good to hold Lex.  He isn’t sure how Lex feels about it, though. They haven’t really had an opportunity to talk since Lex’s return. His friend has been too busy trying to get his life back, and Clark has been pretty busy doing the same thing.

Although, from different causes.   Lex had his life yanked away from him by someone else; Clark had thrown his away with his decisions. He can make all the excuses he wants, but that’s what it boils down to. Yeah, he’d been upset by what had happened and by what his dad had said, but he didn’t have to put on that ring. He'd made a choice to run away, and it was a choice that hurt a lot of people; certainly it had hurt almost all the people Clark cares about the most. It’s a hard truth to face, and Clark isn’t feeling too good about himself these days.

Chloe had said that at some point he had to stop running away. Clark’s been thinking about that a lot in the last few days, and figures that she’s right. He needs to face what he’s done, and continue to try and make amends for all of it. No more running away. He needs to learn to face the consequences of his decisions. Unfortunately, there are so many to face these days.

Clark certainly hopes that Lex’s efforts to fix the troubles caused by his disappearance have been more successful than Clark’s own. He knows he has no one to blame but himself for the eggshells he’s walking on with Chloe and Lana especially, but it's definitely one of the harder consequences he’s had to face. Even harder has been his parents and what he’d done to them by disappearing. They say they’ve forgiven him, or really that there’s nothing to forgive, but he can’t accept that, especially not after Edge showed up and put them in danger. 

He’s glad Lex doesn’t have anything to come down on him about. He doesn’t know if he could have made the decision to stay if he didn’t feel like there was one person in his life that didn’t make him feel like a total screw-up when he was in their presence.

“…Clark come to the mansion on Saturday? I’ve been working day and night to try and get my life back on track and it would be nice to have a friend to unwind with for a day.”

The sound of his name brings his mind back to the conversation at hand, and he perks up a little. It would be nice to spend some real time with Lex. Learning about his death over the summer had hit hard, even while he wore the ring. It’s the only thing that had broken through his self-indulgent and dangerous behavior during those months he was in Metropolis.

Clark looks at his parents hopefully, putting on his best puppy-dog eyes. He practically bounces in place. “Please, Dad. Mom. May I? I’ll be sure to finish my chores before I go.”

“”Well, I was going to have you help me dig postholes this weekend—”

Clark doesn’t wait for his dad to finish, because surely the man can’t be serious. “But, Dad! I just did that last spring…” Trailing off when he sees the twinkle in his father’s eye, Clark starts to smile. He’d been had. “Thanks, Dad.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Clark can’t believe how excited he is to spend the day with Lex. It cheers him right up, and even Lana’s sad face and Chloe’s chilly attitude don’t bring him down as much as they had before. Until he gets a call from Lex on Friday saying he has to go to Metropolis for a few days and that they'll have to reschedule for the following weekend.

That feels like a hit to the gut. What’s he going to say?  ‘Please, don’t go. I need you here; seeing you is the only thing I’ve been looking forward to all week.’ Yeah, that isn’t going to happen. So, of course, he doesn’t complain and he pretends he doesn’t mind.

By the time the next weekend rolls around, though, he’s practically twitching with the need to get away from everyone and relax with someone that doesn’t have a reason to treat him like a pariah or a son who’s not quite as trustworthy as he used to be.

He’s had to watch how he acts and what he says all the time. Not just around his parents and friends, but at school too. All the other kids keep whispering when they see him, the teachers are watching him like hawks, and the guidance counselor keeps trying to get him to come to his office to talk. 

The only relief he’s gotten is when he goes up to his Fortress, but these days that place just reminds him of how alone he is. So, the following Saturday, with no new call from Lex saying he has to reschedule again, Clark arrives bright and early on Lex’s doorstep. 

He’s ready to forget all of his troubles for the day. Maybe even explore just how relieved and happy he’d been to learn that Lex was alive, and how good that hug had felt two weeks ago. He hasn’t been able to get it out of his mind since it happened.

Using his x-ray vision, Clark can see that as early as it is, Lex is at his desk with his laptop open. There’s a short stack of newspapers to his left. Lex’s hand is lying on top, fingers tapping restlessly as he stares at whatever’s on his screen.

Taking the stairs two and three at a time, Clark bounds to the top and strides down the hall.  He feels like he’s reached sanctuary, and he’s eager to help Lex take his mind of his troubles, just like Lex is going to help him do, today. “Hi, Lex!”

Looking up from his computer, Lex’s mouth quirks into a smile, but it’s more of a reflex than anything else. He looks distracted by something. “Morning, Clark. Have you eaten, yet?  If not I can…”

Clark has to force his eyes away from Lex’s mouth. Why has he never noticed how sexy that scar on Lex’s upper lip is? “That’s okay, Lex. Maybe later; I did eat before coming over. What’s on the agenda for today?”

Getting up, Lex looks down at the newspapers before walking around his desk and heading across the room. “Let’s start with a game of pool, then we can plan the rest of our day.”

Clark glances curiously at the papers, but turns to follow Lex, instead of getting a closer look.  He’d rather look at Lex, anyway. Maybe sometime during the game he could slip in a casual touch and see how Lex responds.  “Sounds good. I’ll rack them up and you can break.”

Clark quickly realizes that this isn’t the time for finding out if Lex feels more than friendship for him. He isn’t sure what’s going on, but the mood in the room isn’t feeling very relaxed. As they start to play, Clark can tell that Lex’s heart isn’t in it. He has to be reminded when it’s his turn, he misses easy (for him) shots, and there isn’t the usual comfortable conversation between them.

Halfway through the game, Clark lays down his pool cue on the side of the table. “Alright, Lex, what’s going on with you? You’re really distracted. Did things not go the way you wanted in Metropolis this week?”

Lex lays his cue down on the purple felt and breathes out a sigh. “You could say that. I certainly learned some things I wasn’t expecting to.”

Clark’s good mood turns wary and he loses all interest in flirting with Lex. He can’t believe how quickly his hopes for the day have been dashed. Clark supposes he should have expected it, with the way his life has been going recently. “What do you mean?”

Lex’s reaches out, as if to lay a hand on his arm, but then lets it drop and takes a step back. “Have you ever felt like you knew someone, but then learned something that changes your perception of them completely?”

Clark feels a cold pit forming in his belly, but he takes the question at face value. “Of course. This is Smallville after all. Weird things are always happening to people around here. One day you have a friend, and the next day you have someone who’s trying to kill you.”

“Well, that’s not quite what I meant, but….wait here.” Lex walks back to his desk and grabs the newspapers in one hand and a large manila envelope in the other. The coldness in Clark spreads and his fists clench. When Lex gets back to the pool table he starts spreading the papers out. “I wanted to know what had happened in the world while I was gone, so I started going through the backlog of The Daily Planet issues that LexCorp keeps. Front page after front page was dedicated to the crime spree that seemed to always have one man in the forefront.”

Clark swallows hard and he can feel himself pale. His voice, when he responds, is raspy and he clears it before trying again. “Yeah, it’s too bad they never caught him. He always covered his face up. He…he seems to be done, though. Nothing new has been robbed or damaged in weeks.”

Lex’s voice turns cold. “Here’s the thing, Clark. I consider Metropolis my city, so when someone is rampaging through it, I leave no stone unturned in finding the answers I want. I thought it odd that as often as this man turned up, there were no pictures of him. There are cameras almost everywhere. So, I went to the police.”

Lex pulls a small stack of photos from the manila envelope still in his hands. The cold in Clark’s belly has turned to numbness. It doesn’t improve, even when Lex starts laying down photos of the man, of him, as just a blur. He’d been careful if he took his mask off near a robbery to use his super speed to vibrate himself just a little to mess up any cameras nearby. He’s glad to see it worked, but for some reason the fact doesn’t comfort him. Probably because Lex is still looking at him so intently.

“I’m not sure how he did it, but he somehow made himself blurry in all the pictures taken around the scene of the crime. It’s obviously not the cameras’ fault, as everything else in the picture is clear. However, whatever his precaution was, he wasn’t doing it yet during what I figure was his first job.”

And then Lex starts to lay down pictures that were obviously of one Clark Kent robbing a string of ATM machines. “Those machines actually have cameras built right into them, Clark. Having your back turned towards the ones higher up didn’t help in this case. I suppose you wouldn’t know that, since you’ve never had a reason to use an ATM here in Smallville.”

Clark is shaking and he can’t stop, even thought the coldness has bled from Lex’s voice to be replaced with gentleness. “What happened to you this summer, Clark?”

Clenching his hands together in a last ditch effort to still the trembling that’s getting worse, Clark can’t meet Lex’s gaze. “Nothing happened, Lex.  Yeah, I robbed some ATM’s, but that doesn’t connect me to the other guy.” His new resolution to stop running away is being put to the test for the first time. Clark isn’t sure his determination is going to last. Only the fact that Lex isn’t yelling at him or accusing him of things, _yet_, along with something Clark doesn’t have a name for at this point, keeps him in the room.

Taking a deep breath, Lex shoves his hands in his pockets. “That’s true, Clark. There is no proof that connects you to the other crimes, other than a rather large coincidence in likeness and displays of unusual strength.  However, robbing ATM’s is the same as robbing a bank. A federal offence, Clark. Not something easily dismissed.”

Still looking down, Clark swallows hard.   He wanted so much for things to be the way they were before this summer…before his mom… Feeling his eyes well up, he closes his eyes to hide the sheen of tears. Refusing to let them fall, he finally looks up and meets Lex’s eyes with as much pride as he can muster. “So, are you turning me in now? Are there police in the back room who will be coming in to arrest me now that you’ve gotten me to confess?”

“What?! Why would I do that?” Lex looks so genuinely shocked that Clark has to believe him about that, but...

“Are there scientists, then? Getting ready to strap me to a table to find out how I did the things the papers said I did?” Clark takes a step away from Lex and tries to still his trembling and replace it with anger. He isn’t faring so well with that effort. He thought the anger would be easier to cultivate, but it isn’t coming to him because Lex is giving him nothing to work against. For once, Lex isn’t getting angry, even in the face of Clark’s obvious lies and his accusations.

Shrugging, Lex continues to look calm. “No scientists either, although if it makes you feel better, go ahead and search the house.”

Clark already knows his accusations had been baseless; he’s already looked through the house with his x-ray vision and seen no one out of the ordinary. Still… Clark gestures at all the papers and pictures spread out on the pool table in front of them. “Why all of this, then? Why look for it all, show it to me, if you’re not going to do anything with it?”

“Because you’re my friend, and I want to help you. I’ve told you before that I’ll do anything for my friends.”

Throwing a quick glance over to Lex, Clark returns his gaze to the pictures all spread out, then looks back at his friend. “What do you mean, Lex? How does seeing all of these help me?”

Rocking back on his heels, a small smile graces Lex’s lips. “I just thought you might like to know that you’re looking at the only copies left of these pictures.”

Clark just gapes at Lex for a few seconds, trying to process what he means. Then it clicks. “Lex, you…you stole police evidence? To help me? You can’t…you shouldn’t have…you…I don’t know what to say. Thanking you for doing it sounds weird, but so does scolding you for breaking the law for me. Not after everything I did this summer.”

With the knowledge that Lex is really trying to be a good friend, is trying to help, Clark’s trembling stops and he relaxes quite a bit and then looks down at his feet in confusion. It’s quite liberating to have someone know everything and still not judge him or find him wanting in some way. The knot in his stomach starts to dissolve, and the resulting feeling of relief is close to euphoric.   He’s almost giddy with the quick turn-around in his emotions that he’s just experienced, and he’s not sure what to do with the excess feeling.

Without thinking, Clark leans forward and presses his lips to Lex’s. Almost immediately, before Lex can react at all, Clark straightens and he can feel a fiery blush stealing up his face. He hangs his head and attempts to stammer out an explanation.   “I…Lex, I…I don’t know what…I’m sorry. I…I better go…” Trailing off miserably, upset that he can’t seem to stop screwing up with everyone in his life, Clark starts to turn.

A hand grabbing his wrist stops him. “Slow down, Clark, and don’t just take off after giving me something I’ve wanted for two years.”

Slowly, Clark brings his head up and looks at Lex in burgeoning wonder. “You’ve wanted… Why didn’t you say anything?”

Lex shrugs and his lips quirk into a smile. “I could say your age, but mostly because I thought you were as straight as a ruler.”

It’s Clark’s turn to shrug and smile. “I think maybe I’m more of a protractor.”

Lex’s eyes widen and he barks out a laugh, but he sobers quickly. “As long as it isn’t due to misplaced gratitude. I am not interested in having a more serious relationship with you if that’s all it is on your part.”

Shaking his head vigorously, Clark widens his eyes earnestly. “No, Lex. Not gratitude, at least not mostly that. I kissed you because I was feeling so much and I couldn’t contain it. Gratitude was part of it, but there was a lot more to it than that.”

Lex squeezes the wrist he’s still holding, and then lets go. “That’s good to know, Clark. I don’t think we should move too fast, though. It’s too close to the upheaval of this summer. We’ll take our time.”

Clark nods, but then leans back against the pool table and bites his lip. He still has questions about what Lex had revealed today, but he’s not sure how they’ll go over now. Finally, he decides that he’d better just ask. ”Lex, I don’t want to make you mad or anything, but why are you being so…nice about everything? I get that you’re helping me out of friendship, but you aren’t asking all your usually questions, you aren’t pushing for anything… When you first started putting down those newspapers, I was bracing for a third degree or something. Only…you didn’t. What’s up with that?”

Lex looks uncomfortable for just a moment, but then smoothes out his expression. “Let’s just say that learning about your summer opened my eyes to the fact that your life isn’t the Rockwellian wonder I’ve always considered it.”

Using a tattered laugh in an attempt to hide some of the pain brought out by the unexpected statement, Clark shakes his head. “God, Lex, you have no idea.”

Moving a step closer, Lex lays a hand on Clark’s right arm. “I’d like to, Clark. I wish you’d let me in a little, so I can do more to help.”

“I…Lex, I…” Clark trails off, stymied.  He needs someone to confide in so much; someone who isn’t judging him based on how he’d acted this past summer.   He’s afraid that his new feelings for Lex might be getting in the way of what he knows his parents would want him to do right now. He knows he’s not supposed to tell – Luthors can’t be trusted. Lex is his friend, though, and one that’s certainly shown he can be trusted. But…he isn’t supposed to tell – people would want to experiment on him.   Yet, Lex had a chance and hadn’t taken it. But…he isn’t supposed to…

Clark shuts down the pointless loop going through his mind and listens to his heart instead. Silently, he sends out an apology to his parents. Then, he starts to talk.


End file.
